just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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