This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
