I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
