just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
