I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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