no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
