I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
