i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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