I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It's never too late to be topless.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize