Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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