What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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