He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
