What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
