There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
