The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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