Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
