i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
