btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
