white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
