I hate your face
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
