wrigley field is MILF paradise
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
