You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me