i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off