$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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