Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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