I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
