He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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