What did we do last night that was yellow?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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