You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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