hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Randomize
