im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The power of my boobs compel you
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
