you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
