Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
