do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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