she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize