You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
