aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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