wakey wakey hands off snakey
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize