Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
