just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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