Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
