I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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