the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize