is your mom at the bar?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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