I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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