maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
