the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
