im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
