I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
