In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize