i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
