I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
