my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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