some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
