I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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