I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Do vagina's smell?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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