Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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