Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
