how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
