i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
