I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
