I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
